the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
