Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
