I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
