you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
