the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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