Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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