it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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