I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
