She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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