This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
