We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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