i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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