All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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