He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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