do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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