do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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