The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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