Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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