Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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