hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
