he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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