Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
