Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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