she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
