Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
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I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How naked do you want me to be?
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