ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
