Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
