i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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