youre lurking in front of me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize