Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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