You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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