What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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