wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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