You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
