Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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