They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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