Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
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Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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