Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize