i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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