shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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