the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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