Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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