if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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