i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
