no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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