Cold hands, warm shart.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
