i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
