The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
