alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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