im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.