Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Anal.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.

(407): View more from Florida

Its part of my fall instant classic line.

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(260): View more from Indiana

i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family

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(813): View more from Florida

His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.

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(805): View more from California

I want "hickeys on my ass" sex

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.

(281): View more from Texas

Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.

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