he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem