Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man