They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis