He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.