Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This is my gift to your gina
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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