i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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