the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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