isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I AM VODKA MAN
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
