He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
