Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over