Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I cockslap morals
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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