I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
