I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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